OK, here’s where things went from bad to worse. The label said, and I quote, “WARNING: DO NOT USE IN COMBINATION WITH CAFFEINE OR ANY STIMULANTS FROM OTHER SOURCES WHATSOEVER, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO COFFEE, TEA, SODA AND OTHER DIETARY SUPPLEMENTS OR MEDICATIONS. DO NOT USE UNDER EXTREME CONDITIONS OF HEAT, SLEEP DEPRIVATION OR DEHYDRATION. DO NOT CONSUME WITH ALCOHOL. And… let’s freeze right there for a second and discuss… Although that all looks like great advice, my eyeball was particularly fixed on the part about not using with sleep deprivation. Isn’t that usually the main reason one would reach for something of this magnitude? I’m thinking yes. Well it’s nice to know this warning label was so easy to see and find.
The fun has just begun too. Underneath the warning label was an entirely new section telling you to “Consult with your physician before using this product, especially if you have a preexisting medical condition, such as high or low blood pressure, arrhythmia, stroke, heart, liver or thyroid disease, diabetes, enlarged prostrate, are on anti-depressants, are taking erectile dysfunction medication or are about to undergo surgery within two weeks.” Is your head spinning around in a circle like mine? Interestingly, as the warnings got more severe, the writing got smaller. It’s almost like they were hiding this information from the public. As my friend Ghenn always says, no bueno! And just for the record, I gave you a condensed version of the physicians WARNING!
By this point in time I was hotter than Park City asphalt at high noon on a 90-degree day! And believe me that’s hot. I burnt my feet more than once while running barefoot and got gnarly blisters to prove it. My fury was split between the company that manufactured this crap and duped people, AND the supplement rep who blindly flung a bagful of this toxic waste across the counter and left people to their own devices without informing them of the apparent dangers. But believe it or not, it gets even better.
The last sentence in that warning label was a gem. It went a little something like this, and again, I quote.. “This product is only intended to be consumed by healthy adults aged 18 years or older.” Notice how the lettering went back to standard too. Lucky for Mikey, he was over 18, but Liam wasn’t so lucky. Oh, once again, where are my manners? Allow me to introduce you to Liam, a 16-year-old fine young man who also works at the gym.
Unlucky for him, he tried not one, not two, but THREE different samples, including the OxyELITE junk show. Yeah, he also had something called 1.M.R and MX-LS7V2–a body recomposition agent. Do you know what a body recomposition agent is? That’s what I thought. And neither did he. All he knew was a nice lady dropped off a bagful of samples so he figured he’d help himself. In hindsight, it all makes sense now why he seemed so anxious and jumpy that day.
After doing a quick Lean Beret analysis on the other two perpetrators, I sadly delivered the news to him about what he just consumed. He got even more nervous and was considering going to the bathroom to vomit out what he took in. I told him to just stay calm and drink a lot of water to help flush that stuff out of his system as fast as possible. I’m happy to say, I’ve seen him since then, so I know he made it through safely. However, this may not be the case with other unknowing people his age, or even older.
Upon further investigation, the 1.M.R. product came with a specific caffeine warning. It said one serving contains the equivalent of 3 c of coffee! If you combined the caffeine from this and the two other products Liam consumed, you’re looking at about 6 c of coffee! And I might be aiming low. That’s not counting the MASSIVE amounts of sucralose, acesulfame potassium, artificial flavors, FD & C Red #40, Yellow #6, Blue #1 and titanium dioxide present in the MX–LS7 and 1.M.R. combination. Safe or dangerous partner?